Monday, October 22, 2012

Wtf Moment: Men Who Mama Bird

Mayday, mayday, a word to the wise: Mama Birds are on the loose in the dating jungle. Be afraid, be very afraid. Yes my friends, it's time to take another pit stop on the dating safari to examine the behavior of one of its specimens.

Have you ever had a guy move in for a kiss with you, and once your lips touched and slightly opened, you realized that his intention was to stealthily feed you food or drink from his own mouth? No? Well, I just became privy to this unexpected and extremely jarring behavior from a friend and fellow NYC dater. Apparently, it happened to her twice in the past 6 weeks with two different people, and with beverages in both cases. I believe I also saw this phenomenon on an episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians (don't judge), with Kim and her now ex-husband Kris Humphries, but I just chalked it up to odd celeb behavior. Upon doing a bit of research, there are, in fact, several different definitions for Mama Birding as it pertains to intimacy and dating, all of which are (if you can believe) worse on the ick factor scale than what she experienced. I'm no prude, each their own, but the phenomenon of wanting to regurgitate into your date's mouth (#gag), especially without them being given a heads up, is not only disgusting, but more than a little creepy and just flat out rude. Why? Just, why?? Are there not more sanitary ways if being spontaneous? In that moment, if you pull away, you risk ruining your outfit with the remnants of whatever oozed from his palate, and if you don't, said remnants will end up in your mouth. Regardless of why this is behavior is occurring, whether it be to increase intimacy, test sexual limits, or merely just for shock value, the fact remains that if you are going to try something out of the box, communication is KEY!! Period. And, no, she's not going on anymore dates with either. We both agreed that we prefer to stick to traditional versions of kissing, and sipping our martinis directly from the glass. Has anyone else been attacked by a Mama Birder? The dating jungle never ceases to amaze!

1 comment:

  1. EW! That is absolutely inappropriate. I mean, in my experience...sharing ice was kind of hot in a given instance...but that's about it.