Monday, October 8, 2012

Lesson From The Ladies Room #20: The Ass Grab and Three Other Behaviors Men Can Squash

The dating world is full of things that make you go: Ew. Today, we reflect on a few common, archaic behaviors from the bowels of the dating scene that need to be burned at the stake.

Cat Calling- Who ever set the precedent for cat calling was one ill-advised creature. You know how they say strangers should "Look, but don't touch"? Let's add "Look, but don't talk." This includes, but is not limited to references to foods (i.e. cupcake, pumpkin, chocolate), inanimate objects (i.e. doll), relatives (baby, mami, sistah), animals (i.e. kitten), random adjectives (i.e. luscious, tasty), exaggerated descriptions of any and all body parts, the name Sexy, and use of the noise known as "Psst" to get our attention. Oddly enough, I have no problem with a whistle. It is non-confrontational and sends a clear message "You look gorgeous and have a nice day." Cat Calls are not to be confused with Pet Names, which are agreed upon pseudonyms that take place between couples. They can include some of the same things mentioned above, but it comes from a place of intimacy and familiarity, and thus, is ok.
The Ass Grab- Ew. Show some personal restraint, man. Guys who pull this despicably disrespectful stunt know full well that they have no chance, so they're trying to fulfill their desire to the only degree that they can. Don't put up with this ladies. I'm a non-violent person by nature, but I'll turn my head if you want to go ahead and administer the bitch-slap of a lifetime.
The Glide n Grind- You know that moment when the DJ drops the beat and you're dancing with your girls, and all of a sudden some creeper glides right up behind you and starts grinding away. That, my friends, is the Glide n Grind, and that, good sir, is all kinds of inappropriate. Refrain!
Pick-up Lines- No guy needs a pick up line...ever. No, we're not tired from running through your mind all day. No, I'm not going to jail for stealing your heart. And, on a personal note, I do not care to hear that I'm the "most beautiful black girl you've ever seen" for that is much more of an insult, my friend, than a compliment...thanks. Coming up to a girl and whispering some unfunny, borderline gag-worthy sentence in her ear just makes you look like an amateur. A proper introduction is always best: "Hi, I'm_____. I just wanted to come over and say hello." You can even throw in a "I think you're really beautiful" if you're super friendly and non-machismo about it.

I can vouch for the fact that there are plenty of guys out there that do not engage in any of these behaviors, for I have dated all of them (just kidding!). But, seriously, let's be good to the ones that uphold the simplest protocols of respect (it's not that hard!) and kick the creepers to the curb.

1 comment:

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